Sunday, November 27, 2005

Adventure 9

Scrabble, anyone?

Who said the world lacks original thinkers? One of the most original thinkers, in my opinion is Nigerian Scrabble ace, Chinedu Okwelogu a.k.a Sidespin. For want of any original thoughts, I have decided to introduce you to the world of Sidespin, who is a regular contributor to the SOWPODS Yahoo group.

The A--Z of Why You Should Play Scrabble

Able bodies require the support of able minds.
Scrabble trains the mind.

Busyness requires the companionship of other business.
Why not make Scrabble your other business?

Capital is essential for development. Your capital
support base is incomplete without Scrabble.

Dangerous situations require desperate measures.
Scrabble teaches you desperate measures.

Education without leisure is boring. Scrabble provides
the link.

Friends are made through Scrabble. But be careful!
They can also be lost through it.

Gateways to success are manned by sentries of
perseverance. Scrabble introduces you to those
sentries.

Holiness is next to godliness. Play Scrabble with your
spouse or betrothed, and you have a godlike assurance
of it.

Innovation may live in the neighbourhood of invention;
but Scrabble is the estate manager.

Justices are lettered balancers of judgment. Scrabble
players are judicious jugglers of letters.

Kingdoms, over time, have been ruled over by kings.
Scrabble, with time, will overrule even a king!

Love without reciprocation can be sheer agony;
Scrabble, even without love, is sheer ecstasy.

Madness is sanity in a scrabble; Scrabble is sanity in
madness.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Scrabble is the vacuum
sweeper.

Opportunity knocks but once. Scrabble opens up several
opportunities, so you can receive several knocks (pun
intended and unintended).

Parliament is the battleground for the sharpening of
wits. Scrabble is the fairground for the display of
sharpened wit.

Questions are fascinating for as long as they remain
unanswered. Scrabble is riveting for its many unasked
questions.

Rottenness is a stage in the chronological progression
of a body. Scrabble is a halt in the progression of a
mind to rottenness.

Size is of great consequence in the field of sports.
Some sports require big bodies; others create wide
bodies; Scrabble is just content with the size of the
contents in the skull.

Tennis is sexily divided into male and female.
Scrabble is hermaphroditically sexless.

Utopia is a painting of imagined realities. Scrabble
is a photograph of realistic imaginations.

Variety is the spice of life. Scrabble is the spice of
variety.

Wives at times hate Scrabble, for they see it as a
RIVAL. Scrabble is indifferent to such wives, for it
sees them as VIRAL.

Xenophobia is the morbid fear of strangers. Scrabble
is a strange cure for morbidity.

Yoghurt is a cream enjoyed by society. Scrabble is
enjoyed by the cream of society.

Zoology is the study of living animals, wild and
domestic. Scrabble is the animalistic ology of
wildness, living and nonliving.

Sidespin.

More from the Sidespin treasure chest:

Scrabblica Parrotonia

Members of the House of Assembly assembled in the
house of a member for a baptismal party. By and by,
the Speaker sat down to a game of Scrabble, and his
opponent, the Whip, enquired whether he had anything
to say before he spanked him.
The Speaker replied, "My words will speak for me."
Rejoined the Whip: "Just remember you'd be speaking to
the Whip."
Then chimed in the household's pet member from his
cage: "Just whip the member you speaking to...Just
clip the mamba you spoken to...First grip the ember
you picking to...."
After five minutes: "Don't speak the member you
weeping to!"
The Clerk, who had been listening, vituperated: "Shut
up, or you'll be baptised with alcohol."
Without blinking, the malapropian Mr. Feathers replied
with "Phut up, or you be advised leave the hall".

Sidespin.

Too much Scrabble? Well, here are the lessons he learnt from the Under-20 World football finals:

Hi, Everyone,

1.
I should always assume that when my opponent commits
an infringement, he will get away with it; but if I DO
IT, I will be punished. So I should NOT DO IT.

2.
Knowing how to legitimately win a penalty in topflight
football is an artful science, part of the game, and
should be distinguished from DIVING which is next to
criminal.
Knowing how to convert a penalty kick is a scientific
art, equally part of the game, and not synonymous with
CHEAPNESS.

3.
Conversely, knowing how not to give away a penalty is
an artistic scientific technicality, and it takes the
MOST PRESENT of minds, in the SOUNDEST of bodies,
under the LUCKIEST of circumstances to perfect it.

All said and done, we cannot take anything away from
the Nigerians(including the two infringers), for at
that high level of physical combat, it takes supreme
ability to control a body in motion, especially in
relation to another body equally in motion. It is not
easy. Bravo, Flying Eagles!

But, were the Argentines not a delight to watch!
What with the spraying of wall passes and fleet-footed
dribbles!!
In my small opinion, they are deserving World
Champions.

Sidespin.

Hats off to you, Sidespin. Shine on, you crazy diamond!!!

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